Baseball & Cousins

 Hi Jack & Charlie!

Well my friend just sent me a couple of awesome pictures that your mom posted.  I am amazed with each picture I see just how grown up you are getting.  I wish I could come and watch you play ball.  I loved it when you were just little whipper snappers.  I can only imagine how much fun you are having now.

I wanted you to know that your Auntie Brandi and I have been talking a lot over the past couple of months.  Her and Uncle Tom seem to be moving forward with their separation and divorce.  I'm unhappy about that, but sometimes things just don't work out like we would like.

She's invited us to bring the trailer to San Diego in a few months to see her and Olive and Opal.  Right now it looks like February into March of 2023.  I'm very, very excited to see them all!  I do worry about you guys, though.

If we start seeing them more often, one of these days when you are visiting with them Olive or Opal is likely to say something about Papa and Nana.  I don't want you to be hurt or sad if this happens.  If your mom would allow it, Papa and Nana would be seeing you and taking care of you every single week just like we used to do.  I hope you know without a doubt that we miss you terribly and are sad every day that we don't get to see you.  We love Olive and Opal just like we love you both and I wish that we could be with you, too.

I'm holding out a little hope that by some turn of events your mom might soften her heart and let us be together again.  Possibly if her and Brandi get to talking, or maybe if Olive or Opal do say something that you guys hear, maybe there's a chance.  Jack and Charlie and Papa and Nana are too good together for us to be apart forever.  At least that's what I feel in my soul.

I love you both so much my heart hurts!

Papa

Missing my two favorite boys in the whole world

 Hi Jack & Charlie!

I've been missing you so much lately.  My friend sent me this picture of you guys and I decided to write.

My goodness, Charlie!  You are sure growing up.  It looks like you're trying to catch up to Jack!  Life for me and Nana is pretty much the same.  We both just work and miss you guys and wish something would happen so that we could see you and be with you again.  We don't get to see Clara & Coraline very much at all.  Your uncle Scott can't get past his anger with Nana and won't forgive her for what she's done.  It's not as bad as what your mom has done.  At least I get to talk to Scott from time to time.

Auntie Brandi and uncle Tom have been having troubles and are talking about a divorce.  I sure hope that they can figure out a way to remember why they fell in love with each other in the first place.  I've been there and it's really hard.  I'm just lucky that Nana and I found our way back to each other.  We are still very much in love and get along wonderful with each other.  Next month Nana and I will have been married for 27 years.  I don't know if I could survive the heartache of missing you if it weren't for her.

Brandi has been reaching out to me more than usual as she tries to cope with the situation with her and Tom.  She even lets us see her and the girls via FaceTime.  It's a poor substitute for seeing them in person, but I have to take what I can get.  I'm hoping sometime soon we'll be able to take the trailer and stay in San Diego for a while and try to make up for lost time with them.  I worry that Olive or Opal might say something about Papa or Nana when they see you.  If they do, I hope your feelings don't get hurt.  Just know that if your mom would let me in your life, I'd be there every single week just like before.

I've all but given up hope that your mom will let me see you again.  I'm hanging on to a thread of hope that one day you'll find your way to my blog posts and connect with me again.  Once you turn 18 I'm going to actively try to find you and see you again.  I just hope I'm still alive by then.  You'll be adults and she can't keep me from you at that point.  I just hope you won't have forgotten me.  It's been almost four years since I saw you both.  Jack, if you still remember Papa please help Charlie to not forget.  Just the thought that you might forget me brings tears to my eyes.

I love you both more than anything in the world and I miss you so very, very much.

Love, Papa