Always on my mind

Hi Jack & Charlie!

As always I hope you boys are happy and healthy.  And as always I miss you so bad it hurts.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you two.  I know I've mentioned before that I have a digital photo frame on the wall in my trailer.  Every day I walk by it and most days there are pictures of you an me together.  On those days I stop and watch a few pictures go by and remember.

I think I kind of let myself hope that when I wrote that last letter to your mom that something might change in her and I might get to see you both finally.  Losing that hope has made me so sad.  I'm trying to hold onto hoping for the possibility that I could see you once you turn 18 and your mom can't keep you away from me anymore.  It's so hard though.  You may not even remember much of me now let alone in six more years.  I don't even know if I'll still be alive in six years but I'm going to try.

Nana misses you both so much and regrets so much her role in all of this.  I have long since forgiven her and we are doing well.  I think we each lean on the other at times to make it through another day.

As I've said before, my memories and recollections are all about how you both were six years ago.  I really don't know the young men you've become and I so wish I did.  The time we've lost from one another can never be recovered.  I love you both with all my  heart and I always will.

Missing you terribly,

Papa